So, let’s just start with this!
That conflict that always clouds my mind. That dilemma between being sufficient or not! I don’t need…Well, I don’t really! At times the weakness of your soul eats you up. It gnaws at your humanity. It increases its built on the cost of your morality. Am I talking about morality or darkness, Sometimes I feel the darkness inside me would take over and nothing will be left of me but ashes. Ashes to Ashes! Dust to Dust!
If you have to end sometime, one day, inevitable, then why indulge yourself in mere pleasures. They are not going to take you anywhere but gloom. I can’t wrap my head around it all. I need to be strong, the strongest as I used to be. When my soul was light, I was a really strong person.
I could not destroy myself now it is filthy. The soul is contaminated. It is grey and black. Grey gives hope. A little pessimist though! A quaint hope that if the grey is there out of black then it can someway turn white, real and pure.
I need light to make myself gleam from within. I want this black to go away like the oil disappears when comes in contact with soap. What can help me? I am looking for the antidote to cure the desire to go after my whims.
Life is a gift to be kept pure and flawless for the recuperation of my soul. For the enlightenment, for the restoration of my faith. Faith is life. I want to get a hold on to the faith…